A typical day varies according to the season and the day of the week. At the moment we are progressing nicely into the summer season with the hot weather and short sticky nights. Most of us sleep in the bedroom with the humans. I sleep on the bottom corner of the bed the side depends which human moves around the least. Jura and Toby sleep in the bunk bed which is really the cat carrying basket Toby inside and Jura on top, human mum put blankets up on top for Jura and she spend the night quite comfortably there. Toby spends his night between the bunk bed and between the humans. Toby likes to try and push them out of bed by taking up the most room, as yet he hasn't succeeded making the humans fall out but he still has some growing to do. Talisker sleeps on the window sill and watches the world outside plotting her hunting strategies and which cat she is going to box next.
The day usually begins at about 4am when one of us cats decides it is now light so it must be time to get up. ( a note to the reader here this is only on a weekend, during the week don't wake up until after the alarm has gone off then play dead making it hard for them to get out of bed) The first step is one of us cats will bounce up an down on the human to see if they can get it up to feed them. This usually results in a bad tempered push of the bed and the human will burrow down deeper into the bed covers. The cat will then decide it is probably better if it waits and lull the human into a false sense of security maybe 20 minutes or so and try again. Each of the humans have a soft bit in the middle if you sit on this towards the lower end the human usually gets up and runs to what they call the toilet, muttering something about cats and deliberately. One of the humans sleeps like the dead and you can jump up and down on its head without it stirring, so it it better to wake the other human up. The human will try and ignore you pushing you off the bed or turning away from you. Persevere it is worth it eventually the human will get out of bed and put on their dressing down and come down stairs.
It is a good idea at this point to run in front of the legs as they walk down the stairs humans like this. Weave your way in front of them until you reach the food bowl sit in front of bowl and look pitiful. If this does not result in your human feeding you, weave in front of them again. Miaowing is a good way to get food. If you get really good at it, a groggy human will automatically feed you whenever you make this noise often without realising it. When the other human gets up repeat process if we play it right we can be fed twice.
Once fed we all have a good wash and wander in and out the back door, check all is in order in the back yard make sure there are no mice and other rodents around if so it is your duty to either chase them back into the field or show them the error of their ways. Another job that needs to be done is to check there have been no intruders about, If its the cats from 3 doors down then you can go and sort them out, their smaller than us. If its the dog from the field make sure you can run faster than the cats from 3 doors down and beat a hasty retreat indoors.
The humans at this time of the morning will then make their way to the bathroom. I take this opportunity to chase any naked toes, they are so tasty plus I can get them to do a jig. One of the Humans wears special clothes so many days a week and won't let us go near them when they have them on. Little do they know we score points for how much hair we can get on them without knowing, Socks is winning at the moment he is shedding and the human usually has more fur on than Socks. The human with the clothes goes out the front door after breakfast and doesn't come back in again till tea time when we get fed again.
The other human stays with us. Once we are all fed washed and have been out and done our duties we settle down for our morning nap. Talisker sleeps on top of the filing cabinet on a cushion but not if I can get up there first, just to prove I can. Jura or Toby sleeps on the human knee Socks sleeps on the couch. Toby if he is not on the knee sleeps on the couch with Socks or has the whole bed to himself. About mid morning the human goes into the kitchen and prepares a drink. We use our cat wiles on the human to get tit bits during the day but it tends to be a strict human and we only wheedle extra food out of them if they are making something for their food in the middle of the day.
If we feel in need of particular attention we go and sit on the desk in front of what they call the computer. If you block the screen they will pick you up and put you on its knee. Don't push your luck if you do it too many times the home human will make loud noises and put you on the floor.
I particularly like chewing cables although when humans see me doing it they start flapping and making loud noises at me. If they want to chew cable let them get their own. Apparently according to my humans I have chewed through several pairs of head phones. Although I must admit I have gone off it a bit since the last few times my mouth has gone all tingly and got a uncomfortable buzz right down to my feet actually it was more than a buzz it flipping well hurt owwwwww.
Then its outside for the a couple of hours for the afternoon, Socks tends to sunbath on the bench. Toby and Jura lounge on top of the wall. Talisker and I go off hunting in the field at the bottom of the yard. There are lots of mice and trees. I love trees I can climb ever so high and I can see everything. I can climb the tree in the yard but its such a stubby little thing one leap and a few branches I am at the top so I go for the big ones in the field. They are quite interesting at the moment there are a few nests up there. Although I have to be careful Mum and Dad Magpies have a very good aim and the four chicks that have fledged are learning fast how sharp their beaks can be. I try to chase them when humans are not watching me because they start flapping and making loud noises if they see me. We think they do this because they think they are birds themselves. Its no good telling them no matter how much they flap they won't be able to fly.
Towards the end of the afternoon it is nap time again, if it is warm we all nap outside if cooler we nap all over the house. It's getting nearer to the time the other human comes home we all nonchalantly make our way towards the front door. As soon as we hear the key in the lock there is a mass rush for the kitchen. The human puts down all its clutter and heads to the food cupboard and gets the food out. Too slow, too slow, we all weave in front of it to hurry it up. If we trip the human we can help ourselves, unfortunately it manages to stay upright and shouts a lot. We have a great variety of bowls, plates and troughs in which the human manages to spread the food around. Followed up with some dried biscuits. We let the human go and all tuck in. We have to stay out of the way of Talisker if any of us get too near her food we get cuffed around the ear. Occasionally we get treats such as tuna and then its every cat for himself. One by one we are satisfied and all go off to have a wash. It is now time to hang around because the humans now make their own food and if we look cute one of the humans will give us tit bits from their plate. There are different ways to do this, miaow at them, try and sneak in why they aren't looking and grab something but if we get caught we have our nose smacked, look cute, head butt them, cuddle up close and hope.
Then its time to sleep again. The humans after eating and tidying up then sit in front of what they call the television if we feel like it this is the best time to sit on their knees they don't move around as much. The humans tend to spend their time between the television and the computer. We drape ourselves over the furniture and have a good wash. It is best to do this on a clean surface. You can deposit all of the hair that you have groomed out on this surface. The humans obviously like us to do this because they get the big whooshy thing out that sucks up all the hair and stores it in a cylinder why they want to collect the hair we don't know but we like to oblige them and make sure there if plenty of hair for them to collect, humans are odd things. Occasionally through the evening the humans can be caught heading towards the kitchen it is always a good idea to follow to the kitchen in case there is anything tasty to be had.
Towards the end of the evening one of the humans goes up stairs and gets ready for bed. I follow upstairs after them, there are usually naked toes that I can bite mmmmmmmm. When the human gets into bed it takes a book with it and the human will stroke me with their spare hand while reading. If both humans come to bed at the same time they both have books and if you lie between both you can get them to tickle and stroke you until you purr yourself silly but often there is a crush of us hoping to be stroked at the same time and tempers can get a bit short between us. Before the light goes off I get a cuddle and then a pat on the back and the lights are out. We cats then all go playing outside in the dark off into the field if we can hunt anything we will. After a good hunt we take our catches and go and enjoy it on the bed. We leave a bit for the humans they don't seem to be able to hunt so that when they wake up they can have breakfast in bed. They must like it they make enough noise when they find it in the morning. Then we start the day all over again life is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment